1st of August
Or i think it's karma that struck me in because i am behaving like one of those bitches outside. Just uh~ hear me out. (I'll write it as a story so people could live in it - narratively)
Waking up early in the morning as the voice of Bill Kaulitz woke me up. I am thinking "Why mum hasn't called me yet?" and i feel like sleeping in to get more spirit in the morning. The voices of "I hate my life", a song from Tokio Hotel and the name of the song is In Your Shadow (I Can Shine), because of having an early thought that I could change my luck in the morning.
Without waiting for mummy's call, i wake up and switch on my lappie. I am very nervous of the coming test because i failed one paper of Principles of Microeconomics back then. And that was the day that i decided that i wanted to change course to Public Relations.
Facebook is very quiet because it's early in the morning. And friends of mine aren't those who are fans of waking up as an early bird. I brush my teeth and wash my face and have myself a puff with a cup of fresh coffee. Wear my socks and I walked down the stairs. This time is a little bit weird. Everytime, since then when i walk down the stairs, Peifeng's voice would drum in my head "don't run don't run"
Bus stop is very full when i reach there. Hopefully I could get on the bus because I never want to annoy people with my phone calls on Weekend mornings. Oh, how I hope that I could sleep till mid afternoon on a windy saturday morning. Today is very breezy because it rained last night. I hold my notes close to my chest and I don't feel like reading anymore. I hate graphs and numbers. I just hate them all with my heart.
I couldn't imagine myself in the exam hall, having my whole mind blank.
I finally reach to campus and i walk straight to Block I. This time, this is the last minute of revision. And I hope that they would release the same question that I revised on.
Apparently, it didn't.
I mean, they did print the questions like i studied. It is just that, I couldn't even concentrate when i read those.
My style of having an exam is that. I write down all the answers. Key words. Little graphs. And so when i get serious, I'd do it perfectly on the real answer sheet.
Luckily the mood strikes me and i pen down everything that I have on my mind.
"In your shadow I can shine... In your shadow I can shine.. In your shadow I can shine... Shine..."
Damn and when I want to get serious, of course. A song of Tokio Hotel came into my mind. They are just in my mind, every hour, every minute, every second. I even forbid myself to turn on my radio or stereo or Winamp so no song could've managed to get stuck in my mind.
"Tokio Hotel is here on Thursday"
Ugh, the voice in my head won't just stop, will they?
"Can I finish up my test please?"
"Why don't you go ? They are here for the second last stop since Humanoid City Tour!"
This time i am writing down my answers on my answer sheet.
"Chlo, do you think that I can do this to my grandma? She is coming to see me! If I go and enjoy and leave her here, I am going to be the most SELFISH granddaughter of hers"
"But the ticket's gonna be in your drawer. Mocking you, for the rest of your life!"
"Just freaking leave me alone!"
And i manage to shut that stupid voice in my head up and continue my test. I finish them and I call my mum straight.
"So you guys coming right now right? What time will you be reaching then?"
"Another 2 hours~"
And I go home and prepare myself.
I pick out scarfs to go with my outfit. One Green one to see my grandmama and i even pick out a long pants because Grandmama doesn't really like to see me in short pants.
Daddy finally reach and we go for lunch together. I am glad that my family's here. I am glad that they are all here.
After lunch daddy bring me back to their Hotel room. And I start to switch on my lappie, log into the Tokio Hotel Official site and they start to take pictures of the stage and updating everything about Tokio Hotel. They are currently in the stage right now and I am waiting anxiously for the performance so i could call Ying, Ken or Yijing to hear bits of Bill's live voice
The worst part when I am in the Hotel room.
I was accessorizing for tonight's dinner. Because i get to see my grandmama. Happy me. I couldn't even see my eyes while smiling. And the mocking me Ticket of World Stage didn't affect me at all. Because all i know that, grandmama's appearance would bring me happiness. The happiness that i wanted.
I put on my long black pants, RED shoes to go with it. My favourite White Polo tee and a black scarf. Damn i wanted to look good to see my grandmama.
After changing up, i went to sit with my sister who was playing with my lappie
"Yer! Jie~~ I couldn't wait to see popo lea!!"
My sister suddenly stopped her game as she pressed hard on my Escape button, and she turned to me.
"Actually hor... Shan, popo's not coming..."
I was flipping the Cleo magazine. Suddenly the Cleo magazine was out of my sight and my small eyes were fixed on my sister's hazel eyes. What did she say?
"What?" i asked. I see Suyin (my brother's girlfriend) walked into the toilet as i know that she didn't want to get interrogated by me.
"What do you mean?" i continued at my sister.
"Popo is not coming."
~!@#@$&^*#&@#
What the hell was going on? I mean, after all that i put high hopes on seeing my grandmama. For two weeks I've been shouting in Facebook, Plurk and EVERYTHING that granny would come and see his Granddaughter! i can't handle anymore
I couldn't handle anymore! I distinctively remembered that throughout lunch, I asked daddy "Daddy~ popo lea??"
And Daddy had his signature smile and said "She is coming! another car another car~~~"
and as usual i clapped my hand like a seal~
And now only i get to know that she's not coming? What is that? WHAT IS THAT?
I felt so angry that i could kill all animals in the whole wide world! I COULD KILL ANYONE. And now! the sense of regret and disappointment just rushed into my veins. Regret that i didn't take the 1 o'clock train down to KL and to go to that World Stage by my own. Disappointment that i couldn't see my granny?
Before this i could picture my blog filled with the pictures of my grandmama! My beautiful grandmama~~~
SHIT I COULD KILL SOMEONE RIGHT NOW! RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!!
ugh~~!!
Leave hotel room for dinner and I drive back from the dinner place, which was Gopeng. I didn't bring my specs with me and so i convinced my dad that i can drive without my specs on.
Damn, It's hard to drive at night without my specs.
I am driving and my sister was talking at the back about the laser thing to reduce the power of your eyes. I feel so damn uncomfortable and i drive slowly.
Then suddenly there's a motor came out from nowhere WITHOUT LIGHTS ON!
I break a little bit and kept on scolding on the car. I hate vehicles without a light on at night.
And then, suddenly Ken calls me...
I gave the phone to my sister and my sister picked it up for me.
"Hello? Ken ah? This is her sister talking."
I said to my sister "Put the phone by my ear, Tokio's going to perform!"
and when my sister set the phone and pressed on my left ear hard, all i can hear was the shouting from my father's mouth.
And i nearly had an accident if i didn't break. The car in front was having an emergency break. I lied to my dad that i was having concentration but all i think is about Tokio Hotel and what song that they are going to perform~
I got off the car and clutched my phone so tight that i would not let go... I was hoping that Ken will call me back and perform a song that i predicted - Noise.
Dad pulled me into his room because he wanted to start his lecture. This lecture - is a little different from what you expect. There is no attendance list, no practise, no lecturer. It is in between a dad and a daughter.
Oh great, he's gonna start
"Why can't you do accounting?"
"Daddy i told you that i couldn't handle accounting back in my form 5. Daddy since you asked me to work in Dynamic, I really HATE accounts!"
After a few minutes of persuasion, Ken called!
i picked up my phone and said "Hello? He's performing?"
But i didn't hear any guitars or any of Bill's voice in the background...
"Another 15 minutes wor. But i can hear the tuning of the band's guitar"
"OH GOSH! THAT MUST BE TOM!"
i couldn't believe that they are here in Malaysia and i am here doing nothing.
"Do you wanna talk to Yijing?" he said and he passed the phone to one of my darlings.
She sounded so happy because she had just finished the Wonder Girls performance. I was so happy for her and then they said they will call me when the band starts to play.
While waiting, i continued the negotiation with my dad.
and guess what?
HE AGREED TO LET ME CHANGE COURSE!
yay him..
And i went back to my hotel room and i was waiting...
10 minutes
20 minutes
30 minutes...
1 hour... damn? why no calls?
I called his phone and there was no line... no coverage... i called Yijing... she picked up but there wasn't any voice! Damn you hotlink...
My sister was like.. "call Ying..."
And so i punched in Ying's number and called... DAMN! NO COVERAGE.!!!
i was so desperate and i called one of my ticket taker...
HE PICKED UP THE PHONE...
i was like "hello?"
he "hello"ed back at me and i heard.. piano sound...
Immediately i knew Tom was giving up on his guitar and played the piano for Zoom into me...
oh gosh... I hung up the phone and shouted in the room... Daddy looked at me and asked me what happened... Somehow mummy understands me and said...
"Neh... your daughter wanna go and see concert... got ticket but cannot see..."
Papa suddenly raised his voice and said "Tokio Hotel come you wanna see la~! Papa come you don't want to see?"
see, that's my dad. he likes to compare himself to anything that i love... First Ayumi, then Adam Lambert... then now Tokio Hotel... he even went berserk when i slipped and said i broke up with my ex... that was... NICE!
i couldn't handle anymore and i called Ying... she picked up and she couldn't hear what i was saying...
oh gosh.. oh gosh...
They were performing Forever Now... it was towards the end of the song.. and they finished their part of performance... I was like... devastated... i couldn't see them... i couldn't hear them! i just couldn't !!!
After they finished, i shouted into the phone... "YING! SHOUT ENCORE! THEY WILL COME BACK!! THEY WILL COME BACK~!!!!"
but they didn't... apparently no one shouted... this is the WORST World Stage ever for Tokio Hotel...
UGH~!!!!!!
i hung up my phone and my eldest brother asked me why... He's been very nice to me when he got here to Kampar... DEADLY NICE! but even though he's rough with me, i will still love him with all my heart.
"kor!" i started and i punched him continuously at his muscles "I wanted to go to a concert~~"
"what concert o?"
and my sister helped me to answer "Neh... her Tokio Hotel came ma..."
Then he looked at me stupidly "Then why didn't you go?"
I was like... who is this? who is this brother. He is not the insensitive guy that i used to know who always bring my senses down and tear my life apart last time and even always disagree on what i said...
"Papa sure dun let ma because he is coming..."
"Stupid!" he straight away scolded at me "You got ticket you should go~"
Damn shit... damn shit... somehow i think that, having permission from my brother is always stronger than having permission from my dad...
i could always pay back to dad. Go back and visit him. But this... this freaking ticket... once in a lifetime... i didn't even have the energy to think more negative things...
He brought me out for a tea instead and i brought him to eat ice... Somehow, they are my family... This is the best part of their trip here... They made me laugh... Laughed until my muscle cramped... This is the best part where i love my family the most...
Back in the hotel... Kor kor was like "eh shan shan... you said wanna do mask?? Help me do!"
This is what i love about my eldest brother.. he always go for the fun and everything.. And so i picked out the mask and applied it on the face... The smile on his face really brightened me up. He seldom smile at me...
4 of us were having a spa time...
I finished helping korkor, and now jiejie helped Suyin jiejie(my eldest brother's girlfriend, whom others said that looks like me...)
The perfect couple
After helping korkor to peel off the mask, i myself also peeled off mine, i asked him to take off some of the residues on his face.. He planed his feet in front of the Mirror while i get only one small area of my reflection...
Second Day..
Pig pig didn't want to brush teeth~~~
Daddy Osmond... he has the biggest cannon on earth...
Me and jiejie exchange glasses~~
Daddy went back kinda early next day... I couldn't put that feeling in words... But...
The Best part is when they reach they give you a hug
The worst part is when they leave they give you a hug
and i will be happier~ i promise.
This... i'll treat this as a punishment i have because of being such a bitch... And so this is karma that hit me right in the head. But... I'll treat this as -
I know i can't go. But it's nice to turn YingYing and Ken into listening to some Glam Rockers like Tokio Hotel. And so I hope they would.
Ready, Set, Go!
